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An Excerpt from the Sausage Queen.

As promised, here’s the first never-before posted excerpt from Confessions of the Sausage Queen.


Mandy, the Sausage Queen herself, is married to Randy. Her sister, Mindy, is married to Ricky, though Mindy has left him because she suspects he’s having an affair with a waitress named Sukie. Since Randy and Ricky are best friends, Mandy tries to enlist him to fix things between Mindy and Ricky. Are you confused yet?

Here’s the excerpt:

The problem was I knew Randy pretty darned well and because I knew him pretty darned well I could surmise from the confused way he was looking at me, he hadn’t a clue what I was
talking about. Not that this was any reason to put down my metaphorical rubber hose.
“Sukie what’s her name,” I hissed. I did a head bob toward the living room. Randy blinked. “Sukie and Ricky,” I said by way of further explanation.
“You told her? Jesus, Mandy, that’s ancient history.”
“I didn’t tell. And how sure are you it’s ancient history?”
“You were there. Ricky swore…You don’t think? Nah.”
I raised my eyebrows at him.
“I don’t think so. Maybe.”
“Maybe?” I swatted at Randy.
He caught my arm. “I’m not the one messing around,” he said.
“You’ve got to fix it,” I said.
“I’m not the one messing around,” he repeated.
“You. Have. Got. To. Fix. It.” I swatted him on the arm with each word to get my message across.
“How? Do? You? Expect? Me? To? Do? That?”
“You. Figure. It. Out.”
We were swatting at each other as though covered in gnats. Randy swatted my bottom and smiled. A dimple appeared in his right cheek that always served to make me a little weak in the knees.
“You’re hot when you get mad,” he said, putting both his arms around me and placing one hand squarely on the swatted spot. He began nuzzling my neck and the knee-thing started to creep

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You can buy a copy of Confessions from

Champagne Books


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